Tithing

Tithing:

I can tell everyone that tithing has been the biggest source of contention in my marriage.  It comes down to this…. Pay tithing and accumulate debt because we have to pay bills or buy food or gas on credit cards, or don’t pay tithing and be able to afford our financial obligations. It’s easy for people to say that you should live in your means.  I totally agree with that, and we have worked hard to do that.  But…. When your car has been nickel and diming you and then finally gives out, you have to buy another used car.  Medical issues come up, and these are not cheap bills to pay.  Student loans….. those aren’t cheap either.  My wife follows the Mormon church without studying anything beyond the church standard works. (The Book of Mormon, Bible Kings James Version, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.) and the monthly Mormon church magazine called the Ensign.  When questions come up in church that shows anything contradictory, she is one of 99% of the individuals in the room that gives the same answer to anything they have never heard and don’t want to question…. They say something along the lines of….“it’s a test of your faith, and we are to follow the prophets.”  Following the Prophets of the Mormon church is not as easy as it sounds when there are different teachings among them.  I will give examples of this at the bottom of this blog.

So back to tithing.  The early days of the Mormon Church, tithing was done in a way where you took care of your family and financial obligations first, and then you pay your tithe to the church.  Later it changed to pay the church first, then everything else 2nd.  That “new” way of paying tithing doesn’t sit super well for me.  I’ve been taught my entire life that when you pay your tithing, that the blessings of heaven will pour out over you so much that you won’t even be able to contain them in a bucket.  I was also taught during my seminary years that tithing is “fire insurance”.   Let me tell you what this means…. I was taught that you will burn when Christ comes back to earth if you are not a full tithe payer.  I was being taught in seminary for 4 years that the world will be cleansed by fire and burn when the 2nd coming happens.  This means, and I was being taught, that everyone who is not a Mormon will burn up and any Mormon who is not a full tithe payer will also burn. I have not heard this for years, until a couple of weeks ago in a church class, someone brought up the “fire Insurance”. 

So why the source of contention for my wife and me? Because we have been living paycheck to paycheck and if we were full tithe payers, we couldn’t pay our bills and financial obligations.  Blessings don’t pay my bills, especially when I’m in school and not working.  If I enter into a financial contract, I am obligated to pay on that contract or I am in violation of the law, civil law.  Well, one of the Mormon Articles of Faith say we follow the laws of the land and believe in being subject to judges and magistrates.  If I pay tithing and can’t pay my financial obligations, I am violating the law.  That leaves me with 2 choices…. Do I violate the Mormon Articles of Faith regarding following the laws? Or do I violate the Mormon church teachings on tithing? 

I have never received help for myself or my family from the Mormon church.  I know people who have, and the Mormon church donates large sums of money, and resources to natural disasters, 3^rd world countries, etc…. This is great stuff and a cause I agree with.  But I have never received help. An in-law told me of a friend of his that gets thousands of dollars each month from the church for help.  This family lives in a very wealthy neighborhood and has children in private schools.  Members of the Mormon church are taught to live within your means.  Well, this family wasn’t.  My in-law told me the church is paying almost $8000.00 a month to pay the family mortgage and private schools the children go to. All I have ever been told when I have been struggling is pay my tithing and the Lord will bless me.  The church sure has never offered to pay my mortgage or send my kids to private school.

On a more personal account, I was living in a nice neighborhood, and became friends with a young family who could not afford anything because the wife didn’t work and the husband was in school.  The Mormon church was paying their mortgage, bills, and food every month for a couple of years.

So my dilemma with following the Mormon church on tithing, is again…. I can violate the Article of Faith about following the law with the financial obligations I have agreed to, or not pay tithing.  Feels like a lose lose situation to me.  Especially since I have had to pay bills on credit cards and get in more debt because my wife insists on paying tithing.  So we end up in more debt, and paying interest on that debt, so the debt free very wealthy Mormon church can have their money first. 

I am also confused as to which church teachings and leaders I should follow.  I already mention above about the Articles of Faith and the current teaching on Tithing, but let me show a couple of the different Prophets teachings that make me scratch my head.

The Prophet Joseph F Smith said in General Conference: (go to page 9, left hand column, about 2/3rds of the way down.  The Prophet says that paying tithing is a “voluntary law” and that a church members standing is not in jeopardy if they don’t pay tithing.  He goes onto say that the first duty of a church member is to take care of themselves, then the poor.  https://archive.org/stream/conferencereport1915a/conference report851chur#page/9/mode/1up

Current teachings completely contradict this.

In a General Conference talk, it is said: (I must note that it is not the Prophet of the Mormon church giving this talk) “No bishop, no missionary should ever hesitate or lack the faith to teach the law of tithing to the poor. The sentiment of “They can’t afford to” needs to be replaced with “They can’t afford not to.”  One of the first things a bishop must do to help the needy is ask them to pay their tithing. Like the widow, if a destitute family is faced with the decision of paying their tithing or eating, they should pay their tithing. The bishop can help them with their food and other basic needs until they become self-reliant.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/04/tithing-a-commandment-even-for-the-destitute?lang=eng

Another Mormon church leader says in his writings: (again, this is not the Mormon prophet writing this in the official church magazine, but it is a church leader.) “After reading these scriptures together, Bishop Orellana looked at the new convert and said, “If paying tithing means that you can’t pay for water or electricity, pay tithing. If paying tithing means that you can’t pay your rent, pay tithing. Even if paying tithing means that you don’t have enough money to feed your family, pay tithing. The Lord will not abandon you.”” https://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/12/sacred-transformations?lang=eng

Well, again, I have accumulated debt because of tithing.  If I follow the Prophet Joseph F Smith, I am to take care of my family first and tithing is a voluntary law and my standing with the church is not in jeopardy.  If I follow the leaders of the Mormon church today, I am to pay the church first before I feed my family, and pay my bills for water and electricity. 

Well, not eating will eventually cause the body to die, not drinking water will do the same, and if I don’t have electricity or phone, I cannot call for emergency services if there is an emergency. 

I am confused by the teachings of tithing.  I can give more examples and references I have come across from my studying, but they will be more of what I have shown above, past teachings vs current teachings.  I am taught that Gods laws do not change.  Is this law of tithing voluntary or not?  I am not opposed to paying a tithing, but my family will come first. (family is the center of Gods plan, at least that’s what missionaries teach on their Mormon mission as well as in church.) But in the Mormon church, you are either a non tithe payer, partial tithe payer, or full tithe payer. Am I blessed more for paying the Mormon Church?  Or am I blessed more by giving to the Lord what I can when I make a personal financial sacrifice on my own will, or only by giving a portion of my paycheck to the church?

I will end with this, there is a church hymn that says in the song “search, ponder, and pray.”  I guess following that song is all I can do because the church gives me conflicting things on what I should do.  Since the church won’t help me or my family, I will have to turn to God on my own regarding tithing.