BYU Suicide Tragedy
This blog sucks to write, due to the nature of what it is. For those of you who have not heard, approximately a week and a half ago, a female student at BYU “fell” or jumped from the 4th floor inside the Tanner Building on BYU campus. A huge tragedy that should never happen. I feel sorry for the girl, as well as for he family and friends. BYU gave a statement to the news saying it was a suicide. Many students have spoken out about the counseling center being booked weeks out and they are unable to get the help they seek. I won’t write anymore about this tragedy; I only mention it because it has reminded me of more teachings I was taught in Mormon Seminary during my high school years.
For those who follow my blog, you know that I was Mormon for the majority of my life. I was generally a “faithful” Mormon, meaning I followed the Mormon teachings, believed what I was taught, I generally went to church services every week, performed my church calling whenever I had one, and I would also attend church activities during the week nights.
It wasn’t until I took a step back and began thinking back to all of the Mormon teachings I have been taught through the years that eventually led me to look into church history and ask myself, is this crap really true? Mormon Prophets who were incredibly racist, Mormon Prophets that change teachings, the numerous Book of Mormon changes, greed, deceit, lies, doctrine the leaders try to hide, etc… I came to the educated realization that the Mormon church is full of shit.
The BYU suicide tragedy reminded me of a bull shit teaching I was taught in seminary. I was taught that any person who commits suicide cannot return to God after this life. That is not to say the person won’t go to heaven. The Mormon church teaches 3 levels of heaven. The top level is where God and Jesus live and where we are all supposed to strive to get to. The 2nd level is where you live without God and Jesus, but Jesus is allowed to visit the 2nd level. And then the 3rd level, you are still in heaven but you will never see God or Jesus ever again. Then you have hell and live in misery for eternity with Satan.
What I was taught in seminary is something I could never forget. I was taught that anyone who commits suicide will never return to Gods presence. The best level of heaven you can obtain is the lowest, or 3rd level of heaven where you will never see God or Jesus ever again.
Ok, I know you are reading this and probably thinking something along the lines…..(What the hell? Or WTF?) I know it baffles me too. I wonder why the Mormon church would teach me that people with a mental illness, depression, or maybe even anxiety so bad that they feel the only real way to make their personal situation better was to commit suicide; and the individual would be punished at judgment day and automatically sent to the lowest level of heaven where they won’t ever see God or Jesus ever again.
This level of logic does not sit well with me and I think even contradicts Mormon teachings. I always heard that God is all loving. To me an all loving God would not say….”Well, you took your own life, I never want to see you again.” That doesn’t seem to loving to me. I feel God would probably be crying , and hug you for a long time as he felt sorrow for everything that person was struggling with and unable to find any help on earth.
I feel that Mormons have their own God they believe in. I will believe in a different God than the ones Mormons talk about. My God I believe in is a much more loving and caring God than the Mormon God.
The Judged Mormon 